What is EMDR for Narcissistic Abuse? | Chicago Trauma Therapist Explains

If you've experienced narcissistic abuse or another form of antagonistic relational stress, you likely feel the presence of deep emotional wounds on a daily basis, though they may feel hard to fully identify or name (let alone heal). EMDR therapy can help you process and close the wounds that have been left by the trauma you’ve faced in your relationship, as well as wounds from long before it. EMDR works by targeting the unprocessed trauma, negative beliefs, and painful memories that are keeping you feeling stuck.

How EMDR Helps in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Narcissistic abuse often leaves survivors with unprocessed trauma that has led to distorted beliefs about themselves and others. These beliefs aren’t random. They are actually shaped by repeated exposure to antagonism and emotional abuse (the invalidation, gaslighting, manipulation etc.). EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a research-backed therapy that helps adjust how the brain (and body) store these painful memories and negative cognitions. EMDR can also help clients break the trauma bond or trauma bonds that are keeping them stuck in toxic relationship cycles.

What is EMDR

Unlike talk therapy, EMDR therapy incorporates bilateral stimulation (through guided eye movements). This process is thought to help the brain shift how traumatic memories are stored by better integrating them and reducing their intensity over time.​ Current theories suggest it may support this integration by stimulating both hemispheres of the brain and engaging the nervous system in states of dual attention. Studies show that EMDR therapy is especially helpful for survivors of trauma and can significantly reduce symptoms of PTSD in as little as 6 sessions.

Targeting Negative Core Beliefs

EMDR works by first identifying and then reprocessing the core beliefs that formed as a result of abuse (often EARLIER abuse or neglect as well), such as:  “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t trust anyone,” or “I’m a burden.” These beliefs are not just thoughts. They are often stored in the body as what can be called “felt truths”. By briefly revisiting key moments and memories that reinforced your negative beliefs, EMDR helps your brain finally set down the emotional pain and install more adaptive truths such as: “I am worthy,” “I am likable,” “I can trust my instincts,” and “I’m safe now.”

Addressing New or Adopted Beliefs After the Abuse

Sometimes, the most harmful beliefs don’t form during the relationship; they might arise after it ends. You might now feel broken, embarrassed, ashamed, or fearful that you’ll repeat the same pattern with the same person (or in your next similar dynamic). You may no longer trust yourself, your judgment, or your ability to love yourself. EMDR can help process any newly adopted negative beliefs by helping your brain to integrate more compassionate, empowered narratives.

Reprocessing Specific Traumatic Memories

EMDR is also incredibly effective for targeting specific flashpoints or moments of betrayal, abandonment, or psychological manipulation that still feel raw and real. Whether it's a particularly painful conversation, a moment of obscene gaslighting, or the exact second you realized the relationship you were in wasn’t safe, EMDR helps the brain move that memory from “now” to “then.” The brain can have difficulty properly placing traumas on a timeline, but EMDR can help to reorganize information in ways that promote better balance in reality. 

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse is Possible

This blog is oversimplifying the EMDR process and its power, but we will continue to write blogs that dive in a bit deeper. If you feel like you are haunted by the past or like your sense of self has been battered & shattered, you are not alone. EMDR can offer us a path forward that is clear of any roadblocks. By helping your nervous system and subconscious release what no longer serves you, you can return to regulation once more. 

Curious to see if EMDR is right for you? I specialize in helping clients recover from narcissistic abuse by integrating a relational, attachment-informed EMDR approach into therapy. Learn more about the various services I offer at my practice, Two Lights Therapy Center:  https://www.twolightstherapy.com/

Virtual Sessions can be scheduled by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com or by visiting: https://www.twolightstherapy.com/contact 

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Two Lights Therapy Center PLLC | Chicago, Illinois

Narcissistic Abuse Therapy & EMDR for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Please Note: The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. While these blogs are written by licensed psychotherapists, readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.