Welcome to a space dedicated to some of the most complex work in relational healing. If you’re recovering from emotional abuse or trying to make sense of a destabilizing relationship, you deserve therapy that both respects & reflects the depth of what you’ve experienced. There is never an excuse for any kind of abuse. Help is available from a non-judgmental, specialized narcissistic abuse therapist in Chicago. Whether you stay or go is up to you, but know that you don't have to carry this pain alone.
THERAPY FOR COERCIVE CONTROL IN CHICAGO, IL
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of emotional and psychological manipulation in which one person uses tactics like gaslighting, blame-shifting, control, and intermittent reinforcement to destabilize another person’s sense of reality, identity, and self-trust over time. Unlike a typical high-conflict relationship, narcissistic abuse often follows a recognizable pattern, including cycles of idealization, devaluation, and discard (physically and/or emotionally). The patterns so often create intense confusion, identity disturbance, trauma bonds, emotional dependency, and a persistent, unshakable sense of instability. These words only begin to describe the experience. The impact of narcissistic abuse is often difficult to fully understand unless you’ve lived through it yourself. Whether the dynamic occurred with a partner, parent, family member, colleague, or boss, the psychological effects tend to follow a similar pattern.
Many people find themselves experiencing:
- betrayal blindness, ongoing self-doubt, confusion, and identity disturbance
- difficulty trusting their own perceptions, judgements, or memory
- emotional exhaustion, chronic hypervigilance, & worsening anxiety/panic symptoms
- a subtle or shockingly intense sense of having “lost themselves” in the relationship
- physical illnesses due to chronic stress & somatic symptoms
What makes narcissistic abuse particularly disorienting is that it does not always look like abuse from the outside (or even to the survivor). It is subtle, insidious, cumulative, and infinitely complex. Oftentimes, a deep love lingers for survivors. The exploitation unfolds over time in ways that will leave one questioning their own reality.
TWO LIGHTS THERAPY CENTER | CHICAGO, IL
Why is it so hard to leave narcissistic abuse?
One of the most horrifying & confusing aspects of narcissistic abuse is that it creates a deep attachment. Many individuals seeking narcissistic abuse therapy feel deeply bonded to the very same person who caused them the harm. This is the result of trauma bonding, a psychological and neurobiological process that reinforces connection through unpredictable emotional cycles. This intermittent reinforcement (inconsistent affection and validation) creates a growing sense of dependency. What feels like love or an otherworldly attachment is a complex survival response.
therapy for antagonistic relational stress
The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
While potentially presenting as charming or charismatic, by definition, a person who is narcissistic typically acts arrogant and entitled, and lacks the capacity for emotional empathy. Narcissistic folks often exploit the best of us, targeting those whose traits they admire, and utilizing various forms of abuse to gain and maintain power. That said, narcissism has many faces and forms.
In the beginning, the dynamic or relationship with a narcissist might feel intense and exciting. The energy might feel “different”...powerful...special. Unfortunately, soon it may feel unbalanced, unsafe, isolating, & unbelievably confusing. You may begin acting in ways you typically wouldn’t. You may start to lose your sense of self. You may notice that you feel out of touch with your own reality. You fear being perceived as “crazy”, and you may start to wonder if things would have been better had you just done things differently. You now find it difficult to assert yourself.
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Can narcissistic people change?
Change is possible in some cases, but it requires a considerable amount of self-awareness, accountability, and dedication to long-term therapeutic work. Most narcissistic individuals struggle to commit to the kind of treatment that is required. Two Lights Therapy Center takes a unique approach when working with narcissistic tendencies.
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Why do I miss the
narcissistic person?
This is often due to trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement (partial reward schedule). The pull you feel (due to nervous system dysregulation) is common and even expected after narcissistic abuse. It is not a moral failing. We are here to help. It is not unusual for these relationships to feel very difficult to pull away from if a trauma bond has formed. As human beings, we are wired for connection. Narcissistic abuse exploits our desire to love and connect.
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How long does therapy
for narcissistic abuse take?
Healing timelines vary, but this work requires a meaningful investment of time and financial resources. While each person’s process is unique, it would be unfair to promise significant, lasting change in only a few months. A longer-term approach (often 6–12 months+) is typically necessary to build rapport, stabilize, and process trauma. One of the best predictors of therapeutic success is the quality of the relationship you have with your therapist. Taking the time to get to know each of our clients is a key part of our approach to narcissistic abuse recovery.
Depression After Narcissistic Abuse
The experience of narcissistic abuse is incredibly difficult to understand or imagine if you haven't been through it yourself.
You're exhausted. Nothing makes sense anymore. You may be feeling physically unwell, heartbroken, or out of touch with reality. You might be wondering if you’re the problem. You may want them gone, or you may want them back. You may love them, or you may hate them. You may feel numb or almost nothing at all at this point. People in your life may have pulled back their support or seem tired of hearing about what you’ve been going through, making your healing process more painful. The highs & lows of your dynamic make stability feel like an impossibility. The pain is unbearable.
The
Therapy
Narcissistic Abuse Therapy in Chicago, IL
Not all therapists are equipped to address narcissistic abuse. Many clients come into therapy after feeling misunderstood, minimized, or even blamed in previous therapeutic experiences. This is often because narcissistic abuse requires a specialized understanding of manipulation, attachment dynamics, and coercive relational patterns. As a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse therapy in Chicago, my work is focused on helping clients break trauma bonds & reconnect with their most authentic selves. Healing from narcissistic abuse is not as simple as just “moving on”.
Our narcissistic abuse recovery process includes: nervous system stabilization, psychoeducation on relational and attachment patterns, and trauma processing with EMDR therapy.
Things are about to be about you for a change.
Two Lights Therapy Center integrates research-informed approaches, including somatic and attachment-focused (S.A.F.E.) EMDR, attachment-based therapy, and parts work, allowing us to work at both the cognitive and nervous system level. You deserve to be heard. When you're ready, let's refocus that energy and embark on a healing journey together. I look forward to meeting you.
CHICAGO, IL | THERAPY FOR NARCISSISTIC ABUSE SURVIVORS & RELATIONAL TRAUMA
"I utilize an integrative, client-centered approach that is adapted to meet each client’s unique needs."
Rooted in research-backed relational and person-centered theories, my collaborative work is adjusted given your individual experiences and attachment needs. Depending on what’s right for you, I may incorporate evidence-based modalities like EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to facilitate even deeper healing and trauma processing (after we've established trust & relational safety).
What You'll Explore With A Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist
The new skills you can implement right away to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse
How EMDR may be used after narcissistic abuse to process trauma
How to regulate your nervous system in times of stress
What narcissistic abuse does to the brain
How to rewire neural pathways
& much more...
The Truth About Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
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It takes time.
I wish I had a magic wand sometimes. Alas, I do not. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right support and consistency, it does happen. It’s not always linear, but over time, small shifts start to add up and create lasting change.
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It's relational.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is a relational process. Because the harm happened in a relationship, the healing happens there too. Corrective experiences (where you’re seen, validated, & respected) are essential. Together, we’ll work to rebuild trust in both yourself & others.
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It's worth all the hard work.
Doing the deep work, especially after narcissistic abuse, isn’t always comfortable, but it is life-changing. It’s the kind of work that slowly reconnects you to your instincts, yourself, and a sense of wholeness. It takes courage to face what’s been buried, but the freedom that comes from that process is priceless.
Meet Erika!
Erika Koch-Weser is a licensed psychotherapist & Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician based in Chicago, Illinois, specializing in narcissistic abuse, narcissism, and high-conflict relational dynamics. Her work is grounded in a nuanced understanding of attachment trauma and complex relational patterns. Utilizing her understanding of attachment theory, neuroscience, and integrative approaches such as somatic and attachment-focused (S.A.F.E.) EMDR, Erika provides trauma-informed therapy that is deeply attuned to the lived experience of her clients. She works with individuals navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse, trauma bonding, and destabilizing relationship patterns.
