Recovering from narcissistic abuse can feel like an endless, painful journey. The wounds it leaves behind can be overwhelming, and many survivors struggle to believe that healing is even possible for them. If you find yourself trapped in a cycle of ruminations, euphoric recall, and self-doubt, know that you are not alone. Understanding the complexity of a trauma bond and taking steps to reclaim your sense of self are not typically effortless tasks. Let’s explore these two essential aspects of the healing process.
Allowing Yourself to Feel Without Shame
One of the hardest parts of recovering from narcissistic abuse is the emotional fallout. Trauma bonds create a push-pull dynamic that can leave you stuck in a loop of euphoric-recall—reliving the moments when things felt perfect, even if they were few and far between. These memories can make it difficult to let go or move forward, pulling you back into a cycle of longing and pain.
It’s important to let yourself feel your feelings and grieve without shaming yourself for needing to. Your emotions, no matter how confusing or contradictory, are valid. Ruminating over what happened and recalling the high points of the relationship are parts of your process. Instead of silencing those feelings, allow them to surface in a safe way. Journaling, therapy, or simply giving yourself permission to cry can create space for healing from this kind of trauma. Acknowledging your grief and being vulnerable with are support system are steps towards your goals.
Taking Small Steps Toward Empowerment
While it’s essential to honor your feelings, healing from narcissistic abuse also involves taking intentional steps toward empowerment. This process doesn’t happen overnight and may feel impossible when the pain and trauma are still fresh. That said, small actions can add up over time, helping you rebuild your identity and sense of self-worth.
Start by focusing on what you can control. Reconnect with hobbies or interests that bring you joy. If nothing can currently bring you joy (this is not uncommon), focus on finding neutrality instead. Set boundaries, even if they’re small, to regain a sense of agency. Surround yourself with people who affirm your worth and remind you of your strengths. It is very important to be picky about who you spend time with during this healing chapter. As you focus back in on yourself, you may find the trauma bond weakening, allowing space for a new narrative to emerge—one where you are no longer defined by the abuse.
Healing Is Not Linear—And That’s Okay
Healing from narcissistic abuse is a non-linear journey. There will be setbacks, moments of doubt, and days when the trauma feels insurmountable. It’s important to keep in mind that every time you choose to feel your emotions instead of burying them and every time you take even one small step toward reclaiming your life, you are making progress. Remember, the post-relationship trauma and euphoric recall caused by a trauma bond do not define you. By grieving without shame and slowly refocusing back in on yourself, you can take meaningful strides toward healing.
Sessions with Erika Koch-Weser can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.comÂ
Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois.
Narcissism & Abuse Recovery Specialists
Disclaimer:Â The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. Readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.