Our intention with this blog is not to diminish the efforts of generalist therapists. That said, it is widely accepted that certain populations and individuals with specific challenges require specialty treatment. At Two Lights Therapy Center, we believe survivors of narcissistic abuse deserve recovery therapy that is both carefully curated and trauma-informed. While there is a time and place for traditional talk therapy, survivors in recovery often require a very focused type of trauma-informed care. Below we will discuss just three of the many differences between trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery therapy and traditional talk therapy.
A Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician is Well-Versed in Narcissistic Traits, Behaviors, and Tactics.
When a therapist lacks certain experience or knowledge related to the behavior of narcissists, things can get lost in translation quite quickly. A certified narcissistic abuse treatment clinician not only knows how to provide impactful recovery treatment for survivors but also understands the challenges they face with the individuals who harmed them. The behavior described to them is familiar, and the survivor doesn’t have to spend valuable session time explaining the intricacies of narcissistic dynamics (hint: you shouldn’t have to send Dr. Ramani’s videos to your therapist). Due to the chaotic, confusing patterns of narcissistic folks, having a specialized, trauma-informed therapist who isn’t tripped up by a narcissist’s manipulation or niche tactics is key.
Even Well-Intentioned Therapists Can Inadvertently Exacerbate Feelings of Shame
The unique effects of narcissistic abuse are still underrepresented and under-emphasized in the field of mental health. By no fault of their own, some generalist talk therapists (who have yet to be fully educated on narcissism) can accidentally elicit further shame by focusing on the importance of boundaries, an individual’s financial independence, or a survivor's low self-esteem. This focus can unintentionally shift blame onto the survivor, neglecting the complexities of their experience with narcissistic abuse. One can understand why a therapist might jump to “close these wounds” in the name of recovery without knowing to consider the differences between various types of abuse. Take boundaries for example: A surprising fact about narcissistic abuse? Boundaries don’t work on narcissists– so asking a client to strengthen their boundaries (or asking/exploring why they didn’t hold stronger ones) only places more responsibility on the client.
A Focus On Understanding– Not Diagnosing.
Experiencing narcissistic abuse does not automatically mean you have or need a diagnosis. “Narcissistically Abused” is not a diagnosis like an anxiety disorder or major depressive disorder. For years, therapists have resented that insurance companies require a diagnosis before they will cover therapeutic services. The biggest issue our specialist clinicians see with this is that the response/reaction clients have to narcissistic abuse is not pathological– it is understandable. It is a reasonable, expectable response to being abused. Why should we be expected to pathologize? While many of our clients are also challenged by depression and anxiety, more and more research is suggesting that the effects of narcissistic abuse are unique. This means that treatments designed for depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., do not address some of the specific impacts of narcissistic abuse. Treating your anxiety is only part of recovery. While our process is less traditional, we find it is more effective. We prioritize recovery over diagnosis, focusing on the unique impacts of narcissistic abuse rather than fitting clients into traditional diagnostic categories.
Thank you for reading. As usual, please reach out if you’re needing trauma-informed support. Sessions can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com
Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois.
Narcissism & Abuse Recovery Specialists
Disclaimer: The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. Readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.