Why Almost Everything We Treat Comes Back to Attachment Trauma

Understanding the Root: Attachment Trauma is Central to Our Work

At Two Lights Therapy Center here in Chicago, we recognize that every client’s story is as unique as they are. That said, most clients’ relational and emotional challenges stem from one all-too-common experience: attachment trauma. 

Whether someone comes in for narcissistic abuse recovery, relationship challenges, antagonistic traits, anxiety, or chronic self-doubt, the common thread is how early experiences shaped their sense of safety and connection. That’s why we specialize in attachment-focused EMDR and relational trauma therapy in order to help clients heal not just the symptoms, but the source.

Nearly every client who passes through Two Lights Therapy Center receives therapy for attachment trauma in some way, shape, or form. Why is this? Because many mental health challenges can be traced back to how our nervous system first learned (or didn’t learn) to feel safe, seen, heard, understood, and connected.

What Is Attachment Trauma?

Attachment trauma arises when our early caregivers or guardian figures were inconsistent, unavailable, critical, or emotionally unsafe, creating attachment learnings that can negatively impact us later in life. Over time, our brains and bodies adapt for survival by disconnecting, fearing, people-pleasing, numbing out, or over-functioning. These protective patterns can look like persistent personality traits, but at their core, they’re trauma responses built around unmet attachment needs. While personality is very stable, addressing attachment trauma can alter how you show up in the world and in your relationships. Don't let anyone try to tell you this work won't be effective. If you're willing to commit to the process, the results can be completely life-changing.

Why Attachment Trauma Shows Up in So Many Forms

You don’t need a “big T” trauma to have attachment trauma. It can arise from the small, repeated moments of disconnection or fear that taught you to suppress your emotions, doubt yourself, perform for love, or expect abandonment. Countless people end up in therapy thinking they’re there to address something else in a vacuum (like anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, toxic relationships, or perfectionism), only to realize later on that they’re really working on processing their early attachment trauma. Attachment learnings can absolutely be unlearned. It just takes time and trust in the process. 

Healing Attachment Trauma Through EMDR

At Two Lights Therapy Center, our work integrates somatic and attachment-focused EMDR, parts work, and relational processing to help clients not only understand their patterns but rewire them completely if necessary. EMDR helps the nervous system safely revisit and resolve the stuck memories and sensations that shape our daily lived experiences. EMDR is not talk therapy. In fact, the processing and integration that happens in EMDR does not require a significant amount of verbal disclosure, which many clients appreciate. The result of this treatment is a deeper sense of safety, trust, and more authentic connections within yourself and with others out in the world. 

Why This Matters

“Attachment style” isn’t just a buzzword. In fact, we believe attachment styles (shaped by attachment trauma) are the blueprint underneath nearly every mental health struggle. When the right therapy addresses these early experiences directly, healing becomes more possible, embodied, and self-led. Addressing the root of your symptoms, instead of focusing on quick fixes, will allow for long-lasting change.

Looking for therapy to address your attachment trauma and attachment style? Read more about how Two Lights Therapy Center approaches treatment:  https://www.twolightstherapy.com/

https://www.twolightstherapy.com/attachment

Want to work with an attachment specialist for therapy? Virtual Sessions with Erika can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com or by visiting: https://www.twolightstherapy.com/contact 

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Two Lights Therapy Center PLLC | Chicago, Illinois.

Narcissism & Attachment Style Therapist

Please Note: The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. While these blogs are written by licensed psychotherapists, readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.