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Chicago Narcissistic Abuse Therapist: Does It Matter If They Are a Narcissist?


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When you're in an abusive or antagonistic relationship, the harsh reality is that the label you assign to the person who is hurting you may not matter as much as the patterns of behavior they continually exhibit. What truly matters is recognizing how their actions are affecting you and understanding the absence of key elements required for a healthy relationship (such as respect, trust, and emotional safety).


It's completely valid to feel that knowing whether or not this person is a diagnosable narcissist is important—it can provide a sense of clarity, validation, and even vindication. However, it’s worth considering the following insights before deciding how much weight to place on this label in the broader context of your well-being and the relationship dynamic.


Regardless of Whether or Not This Person is a Narcissist, You Can’t Build a Relationship Without Accountability


In narcissistic relationships, true accountability is often missing completely. A narcissist’s inability to acknowledge their role in conflicts or take responsibility for their actions creates an environment where trust and growth of the relationship are nearly impossible. As a narcissistic abuse therapist, I frequently work with individuals who feel trapped in these dynamics, questioning their reality and blaming themselves for the chaos. Your efforts at taking accountability for a narcissistic person’s abusive patterns will only cause you harm. It’s important to understand that without accountability on both sides of a relationship, a healthy and fulfilling dynamic simply cannot exist.


Regardless of Whether or Not This Person is Narcissistic, You Can’t Build a Relationship Without Communication


Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, romantic partner or otherwise. In the context of narcissistic abuse, however, communication is often weaponized and becomes something to be feared instead of cherished. Narcissists may deflect, stonewall, or engage in gaslighting, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated. Your attempts at honesty or communication likely do not end well most of the time. If you cannot share your feelings with someone, you cannot build a sustainable relationship with them.


As an abuse therapist specializing in narcissistic relationships, I help clients recognize these patterns and develop tools to navigate the emotional harm caused by a lack of communication. Healthy relationships require open, respectful dialogue—something that may not be possible with a partner unwilling to engage.


Regardless of Whether or Not You’re in a Narcissistic Relationship, You Can’t Build a Relationship With Someone Who Sees You as an Adversary


When someone’s unresolved shame causes them to view you as an adversary rather than a partner, the relationship becomes inherently antagonistic. Narcissistic abuse often stems from this deep, unexplored shame, leading the narcissist to project their insecurities onto their partner. Much of the time, a narcissistic person who has targeted you also envies or admires you. Jealousy and comparison can be poison in any relationship. This aforementioned dynamic fosters a cycle of conflict, manipulation, and pain.


Navigating narcissistic relationships or recovering from narcissistic abuse can be very challenging. As a Chicago narcissistic abuse therapist, I specialize in helping individuals recognize toxic patterns, heal from emotional abuse, and rebuild their lives/identities. Take the first step toward healing today by reaching out for support.


Ready to take the next step? Read more about how Two Lights Therapy Center works with survivors of narcissistic abuse: https://www.twolightstherapy.com/


Narcissistic Personality Style? Read more about how Two Lights Therapy Center works with narcissistic tendencies: https://www.twolightstherapy.com/narcissistic-tendencies


Want to work with a narcissism specialist? Virtual Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Sessions for survivors can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com or by visiting: https://www.twolightstherapy.com/contact 


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Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois.

Narcissistic Personality Therapy & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialists


Please Note: The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. While these blogs are written by licensed psychotherapists, readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area. 


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