**Disclaimer: This blog post will make mention of narcissistic personality disorder. While the legitimacy of this disorder is hotly debated, it is still often used to describe a subtype of personality disturbance. It is rumored that NPD may be removed from the next DSM ( the handbook used by mental health professionals in therapy to diagnose & classify mental disorders), but until then, we may still reference it from time to time. Thank you for your understanding.  You may have heard some experts say that folks with narcissistic personality styles (narcissistic personality disorder) typically do not benefit from therapy. The argument is usually that narcissistic folks don’t see “an issue” with their behavior and are therefore unlikely to make an attempt at real change. Other times, this claim is backed up by research that emphasizes the highly stable nature of temperament and personality style. While it is difficult to argue that folks with narcissistic traits are more difficult to treat, there is a small population of “self-aware” narcissistic folks who DO benefit from psychotherapy. Our specialist, Erika Koch-Weser, LCSW, NATC, works with these individuals here at our practice and believes that some change is absolutely possible.  Narcissistic personality traits undoubtedly complicate interpersonal relationships and individual well-being. While daily functioning is often not impaired, there are many unseen consequences for narcissistic folks deep below the surface. Narcissistic folks are plagued by deep-rooted shame and do not actually “love themselves”, as many believe. Research suggests that mental health therapy can offer some benefits and relief for individuals exhibiting these traits. Here are two compelling reasons why therapeutic intervention can be transformative for those with narcissistic tendencies.  Learning to Challenge Grandiose Cognitions Even if an individual with narcissistic traits only comes to therapy to benefit themselves– we’ll take it. Sometimes, self-serving goals are where we need to start to get someone in the door. Individuals with narcissistic personality traits frequently engage in grandiose thinking and self-protective behaviors, which can distort their perception of themselves and reality. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic modalities related to challenging one’s thoughts provide tools for clients to identify and explore maladaptive beliefs. Through this process, individuals can cultivate some mindfulness, enabling them to navigate social interactions more effectively and empathetically (even if the limited empathy is only cognitive & not emotional). Therapy facilitates the examination of cognitive distortions linked to narcissism, allowing clients to recognize the impact of their personality traits on themselves, others, and their relationships more generally. By addressing their underlying motivations, individuals can enhance their emotional intelligence and develop better skills for healthier interpersonal dynamics, which are crucial if they want any sustainable relationships. Some argue that therapy could be educating these individuals on how to be MORE manipulative. Thankfully, a trained clinician knows how to navigate treatment to prevent this from occurring.  Unpacking Childhood Trauma Research indicates that most individuals with narcissistic personality traits have experienced childhood or early-life trauma, which has contributed to their self-image challenges and toxic behavioral patterns. Narcissistic personality disorder is a manifestation of extreme coping mechanisms and forms of self-protection. Therapeutic interventions and a non-judgmental space allow individuals to explore these formative experiences and reconsolidate memories, thereby addressing the root causes of their narcissistic behaviors. While this is not a “cure”, it can decrease the severity of maladaptive behaviors and thoughts. This exploration not only diminishes the perceived necessity for the self-protection mentioned above, but it also fosters more self-awareness. An additional disclaimer:  Empathy for narcissistic folks can be difficult to come by, and it must be accessed/utilized carefully. There is NO excuse for abusive behavior, and only a trained professional should take on the responsibility of helping a narcissistic individual begin to heal. Sessions with Erika Koch-Weser can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com   Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois. Narcissism & Abuse Recovery Specialists Disclaimer:  The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. Readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.

If you’ve stumbled across our practice but do not live near Chicago or in Illinois– never fear! While we are unable to take on clients from out of state, there are many qualified therapists available throughout the country. The tricky part can be finding them! If you’re seeking support for narcissistic abuse recovery, finding a qualified specialist is crucial. If you’ve been googling, “narcissistic abuse recovery therapy near me” and haven’t had any luck, here are three essential tips to help you identify a qualified narcissistic abuse specialist for therapy near you. Let's speed up the process! Understanding the Role of a NATC A Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) is a mental health professional who has undergone specific training to address and understand the complexities of narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This certification is ideal because it ensures that your treatment clinician is knowledgeable about the unique dynamics and psychological impacts of this specific kind of abuse. NATCs are equipped with tools and strategies tailored to facilitate growth and recovery, making them a great option for your next therapeutic relationship. Searching specifically for a NATC through your search engine of choice can be a good place to start.  The Importance of a Licensed Professional Seeing a certified narcissistic abuse treatment clinician in your area is not always going to be an option– and that’s okay! Many qualified therapists without this specific certification can still help you make strides toward your treatment goals. That said, it’s important to make sure the professional you’re seeing for therapy is, in fact, licensed. A licensed psychotherapist has undergone rigorous training and is regulated by a governing body, which guarantees a certain standard of care. To check qualifications, you can visit their professional website, their Psychology Today profile, or their licensing board’s website. Look for credentials like LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), or PSY.D. This verification ensures that you’re receiving therapy from a qualified specialist who can effectively (and safely) guide you through the recovery process. If you’ve had a bad experience before, we are so sorry to hear it. We encourage you to not give up on therapy. Finding the right therapist near you can be quite challenging sometimes. Keep this information in mind when searching!  Make Use of Online Platforms to Find Specialists Online platforms, such as Psychology Today, are invaluable resources when searching for a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist near you. These platforms allow you to filter by location, specialty, and therapeutic modality, helping you find therapists who can specifically address narcissistic abuse. When using these tools, enter your zip code and select any relevant filters. This targeted approach can help you compile a list of qualified professionals, making the search for therapy more efficient and less frustrating. We know that finding the right therapist can feel exhausting. Don’t give up!  Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone—support is available, and with the right therapist, healing is within reach. If you are in the Chicagoland area, do not hesitate to reach out by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois. Narcissism & Abuse Recovery Specialists Disclaimer:  The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. Readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.

Our intention with this blog is not to diminish the efforts of generalist therapists. That said, it is widely accepted that certain populations and individuals with specific challenges require specialty treatment. At Two Lights Therapy Center, we believe survivors of narcissistic abuse deserve recovery therapy that is both carefully curated and trauma-informed. While there is a time and place for traditional talk therapy, survivors in recovery often require a very focused type of trauma-informed care. Below we will discuss just three of the many differences between trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery therapy and traditional talk therapy.  A Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician is Well-Versed in Narcissistic Traits, Behaviors, and Tactics.  When a therapist lacks certain experience or knowledge related to the behavior of narcissists, things can get lost in translation quite quickly. A certified narcissistic abuse treatment clinician not only knows how to provide impactful recovery treatment for survivors but also understands the challenges they face with the individuals who harmed them. The behavior described to them is familiar, and the survivor doesn’t have to spend valuable session time explaining the intricacies of narcissistic dynamics (hint: you shouldn’t have to send Dr. Ramani’s videos to your therapist). Due to the chaotic, confusing patterns of narcissistic folks, having a specialized, trauma-informed therapist who isn’t tripped up by a narcissist’s manipulation or niche tactics is key.  Even Well-Intentioned Therapists Can Inadvertently Exacerbate Feelings of Shame  The unique effects of narcissistic abuse are still underrepresented and under-emphasized in the field of mental health. By no fault of their own, some generalist talk therapists (who have yet to be fully educated on narcissism) can accidentally elicit further shame by focusing on the importance of boundaries, an individual’s financial independence, or a survivor's low self-esteem. This focus can unintentionally shift blame onto the survivor, neglecting the complexities of their experience with narcissistic abuse. One can understand why a therapist might jump to “close these wounds” in the name of recovery without knowing to consider the differences between various types of abuse. Take boundaries for example: A surprising fact about narcissistic abuse? Boundaries don’t work on narcissists– so asking a client to strengthen their boundaries (or asking/exploring why they didn’t hold stronger ones) only places more responsibility on the client.  A Focus On Understanding– Not Diagnosing. Experiencing narcissistic abuse does not automatically mean you have or need a diagnosis. “Narcissistically Abused” is not a diagnosis like an anxiety disorder or major depressive disorder. For years, therapists have resented that insurance companies require a diagnosis before they will cover therapeutic services. The biggest issue our specialist clinicians see with this is that the response/reaction clients have to narcissistic abuse is not pathological– it is understandable. It is a reasonable, expectable response to being abused. Why should we be expected to pathologize? While many of our clients are also challenged by depression and anxiety, more and more research is suggesting that the effects of narcissistic abuse are unique. This means that treatments designed for depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., do not address some of the specific impacts of narcissistic abuse. Treating your anxiety is only part of recovery. While our process is less traditional, we find it is more effective. We prioritize recovery over diagnosis, focusing on the unique impacts of narcissistic abuse rather than fitting clients into traditional diagnostic categories. Thank you for reading. As usual, please reach out if you’re needing trauma-informed support. Sessions can be booked by emailing: hello@twolightstherapy.com Two Lights Therapy Center | Chicago, Illinois. Narcissism & Abuse Recovery Specialists Disclaimer:  The information provided in these blog posts is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or therapeutic services. Readers should not use this content as a replacement for individualized advice or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or contact other emergency services in your area.